Growth is a Payne: New blog, new insights to share

I have decided to take my original “Dating is a Payne” blog out of retirement only to rebrand it as the new and improved “Growth is a Payne” blog, which better reflects the breadth of my personal and professional interests and entrepreneurial pursuits.

“Dating is a Payne” was the name of a now-defunct blog I started back in 2008 in the wake of the biggest heartbreak of my life and a gnarly “expectation hangover” I had after graduating college during a recession (it was a “great” one, too). That silly little blog, which I used to express the depths of my frustration with life and love in an amusingly crude way, served as a launching point for a career in digital marketing I never knew I wanted. When I studied journalism in college, I was taught how to compile research, conduct interviews, write, and edit, but I didn’t realize that was only half the battle. The other half of the battle was getting people to read the fruits of my labor. So began my journey in self-improvement when I landed my first freelance writing gig for a local news website within a month of graduating college all because of a blog I started to create the semblance of the experience I did not yet have at the time to get a job in journalism. I learned a valuable lesson about the work experience portion of my resume—If what you want, need or desire doesn’t exist yet, you to get to be the one who creates it.

As I make preparations to graduate from my master’s program in clinical psychology, I am realizing how my life has truly come full circle — quite literally as I look across the street from where I practice hypnotherapy to see the place I used to work when I was 18-years-old. It was the most degrading job I ever had serving dinner to folks while wearing ruffled panties with ass-less chaps and a leather bra-like top. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I hated objectifying myself that way, I needed the money and it turned out to be a fun job. I learned to deal with the sexism but the cost of that lesson was finding my self-worth in sex. Looking back, I see what a heroine’s journey I have been on. I went from seriously believing that I was “damaged goods” for my entire adult life to learning how to see myself as a “high commodity” for the rest of my life.

As the grief and loss chapter of my life finally comes to an end after nearly 15 years, a new chapter of my life now begins to unfold. I’m not quite sure what I’ll call it. Rebirth? Creativity? One thing is for certain. Growth and evolution will be an inevitable part of the journey. Hence, the rebranding of the original “Dating is a Payne” to “Growth is a Payne” to reflect the reality of everyday living in a microcosmic kind of way. I no longer feel compelled to write exclusively about dating and relationships as I once did before. However, I do have an insatiable urge that keeps gnawing at me to engage in social learning by sharing more of my adventures in self-improvement, professional development, and personal growth for the benefit of others. Oh my, there is so much to share and writing has always been my favorite way to synthesize information.

Welcome to “Growth is a Payne,” a personal blog dedicated to sharing wisdom, insights, and perspectives gained through adventures in self-improvement, professional development and personal growth. Where ever you may be at in your journey, take solace in knowing that you are exactly where you need to be right now to get you to where you want to go.

Niki Payne

Niki Payne is a freelance writer, hypnotherapist, life coach, and consultant best known for her work as a dating columnist on the now defunct American news website Examiner.com. She resides in Los Angeles where she attends graduate school in pursuit of a master's degree in clinical psychology, specializing in marriage and family therapy. She enjoys singing karaoke, playing board games, and indulging in outdoor sports during her free time.